


Thoughts and tears

by Universe4200



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Connie is there for Steven, Crying, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Hugs, I want to hug Steven to much, I wish I could give him a hug, Lots of tears, Mentions of Rose Quartz, Poor Steven Universe, Sad, Short One Shot, Unresolved Emotional Tension, i dont know, i just thought of it and then i typed it, lots of thoughts, mentions of Pearl - Freeform, poor boi, poor steven, pretty short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-18 01:23:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21502969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Universe4200/pseuds/Universe4200
Summary: Nothing seemed to be fair when it came to Steven though, it was always unfair. She saw the sadness pouring out of his eyes, his soul, and his heart. Connie wrapped her arms around Steven and pulled him close to her.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran & Steven Universe
Comments: 5
Kudos: 27





	Thoughts and tears

Steven walked up to his bedroom, his new bedroom, to get some privacy. He liked having his new room away from everyone’s viewpoint, now he could do what he wanted in private, or as private as he could without Pearl just walking her way into his room without any warning whatsoever.

Steven sat down on his bed and looked out the sliding glass door in deep thought. The gems were out on a mission, he’s guessing they left sometime before he had woken up. Witch was nice, he liked to have some alone time every once in a while. He rarely got time to himself.

He lowered his head in his hands and sighed deeply. Since the gems were gone, he could freely cry and not feel bad about upsetting or worrying any of the gems. It was nice to be alone sometimes. He felt the beginning of tears start to gather in his eyes.

Steven drew in a breath and then let out a heart wrenching sob. His body shuddered as he tried to calmly inhale, only for another sob to erupt from his mouth. His chest hurt and clenched painfully as his whole body shook. Fat tears leaked from his tightly shut eyes.

A wail of distress came out from his mouth as he finally allowed himself to have this moment of sadness, stress, anger, resentment, and depression. His hands shakily tugged at his black curly hair, whimpering as he tried to open his eyes, only to shut them immediately because the overflow of tears was stinging his eyes, and it hurt.

What hurt the most was inside though, his heart ached and clenched. He just wished that he either wasn’t born or he was a full fledged human. Sometimes he dispised that he was the only one of his kind; a hybrid, half gem, and half human. He just wanted a better life, a peaceful one where he only had to worry about school, homework, his first kiss, pimples, and other things that normal teenagers would worry about on a daily basis. 

He hated that the things he had to worry about was things he should have to worry about, period. He had to worry about dying on a daily basis, about his family dying on a daily basis, fixing everyone’s problems, bearing the truth that he basically killed his own mom just to exist, fighting other gems that were once like him and his gem guardians but now we're just mindless beasts who only wanted to cause mayhem, trouble, and destruction wherever they went. He hated that he had to worry about rebel gems seeking him out and thinking he is his mother, that he is Rose Quartz. 

He wasn’t Rose Quartz though, he was so much better than her. He wanted to help everyone, he wanted to make everything right for everyone else except himself. He wanted to make friends with everyone and fight noone. He wanted to clean up her messes, which at this point seemed endless. She abandoned so many gems, he could ever imagine doing that to anyone, he was too kind hearted. He wanted to be happy, but helping everyone else with their problems before his own was his goal and mission in mind. He didn’t care about himself much, as long as everyone around him was happy and content and not hurting, then he was fine, right? He had to be, he was better than Rose Quartz, he would stop at nothing to stop the hurt for everyone around him.

His chest tightened again, he clutched it tightly with both hands as another sob escaped his mouth and racked his body with shakes. His tears kept on flowing like they would never end. He heard a familiar voice call out his name as they walked up the stairs to his secluded bedroom on the second floor. Steven gasped in surprise and looked up. The stairs creaked lightly underneath the weight of the other person.

Steven rapidly rubbed his cheeks and face to try and rid the tears that were still trailing down his now reddened cheeks. A head popped out from around the corner, they were smiling, but the smile they wore suddenly dropped as soon as they saw the condition in which Steven resided in.

“Steven,” Connie gasped as she quickly entered Steven’s bedroom fully, rushing to his side.

“Steven, what’s wrong?” Connie asked, sounding panicked and shocked. 

Usually Steven was happy go lucky, smiling all the time. Everytime she showed up he always had that goofy grin on his face, and an upbeat attitude, optimistic as always, his smile never faltering. He had the biggest heart she knew. But right now, his eyes were red and puffy. Tears trailed down his cheeks, which were also red. His face scrunched into a look that broke her heart, he looked so tired, scared, vulnerable, sad, depressed, broken. He looked completely wrecked, not in appearance wise, but his emotions. His face showed nothing but complete and utter sadness. His eyes looked tired, he looked like he was on the verge of passing out. His lips curled in an unhappy and sad grimace as he bit down on his bottom lip so hard that she spotted blood being drawn. He wasn’t tall like he has been recently, no his new usual blue shirt was no longer fitting, he was swimming in his. His pants hung loosely off the bed, his legs are so short, you couldn't even see his feet poking out. He looked to be the size he was when he was thirteen years old, in his eight year old body.

Connie was at his side in an instant, kneeling on the floor in front of him to get a good look into his pained eyes.

“C-C-Co-onnie” Steven whimpered sadly.

“Steven” Connie said, wanting to know what was hurting her best friend so bad. 

“What’s wrong? Why are you crying? Are you hurt?” Connie questioned, knowing fully well that she probably sounded like her own mother.

What was that saying again? The one about growing up and realising you had become your own mother. Yeah Connie felt like she was becoming more and more like her mother, Priyanka, everyday. But maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing, she might have denied it three years ago, but she knew he mother meant well, she knew her mother just wanted to keep her safe and protected and for Connie to be her little girl forever, but she was human, she couldn’t stay a little kid forever, she had to grow up. But for Steven it might have been a bit different, he started life trying to be the protector, the carer, the adult, the leader. Maybe for Steven it was a bit in reverse, maybe for Steven he had to grow up first, and then be that little kid last, which didn’t seem fare in the very least to Connie. 

Nothing seemed to be fair when it came to Steven though, it was always unfair. She saw the sadness pouring out of his eyes, his soul, and his heart. Connie wrapped her arms around Steven and pulled him close to her. She held him tightly and pulled him off from his perch on the bed and into her arms where she was still situated on the floor.

Steven shocked at first, but soon wrapped his own shortened arms around his best friend and held onto her tightly as if he loosened his grip, she would slip away, and leave him behind. He felt like he was losing everything lately, his grip on life, his will to continue on fixing everyone’s mistakes and problems. He clung to Connie as if she was a lifeline. Connie held Steven back just as tightly, trying to keep herself from crying. She had to be brave for Steven, he was always so strong for everyone else, the least she could do was be strong for him in his time of need. She was going to be there for Steven this time, maybe right now he didn’t have to care about anything or anyone, just for a bit, he deserved a break every once in a while.

Everyone deserves a break, but Steven never got one, so Connie was going to give him one. She was going to stay for him, she was going to try and help him out for once, maybe he wouldn't have to care about anything but himself, just for this moment in time. She slowly rocked them both as she held him tightly to her with one arm and used her other arm to rub his back. He needed this, she knew he did. He was always putting up this tough, handle everything, help everyone kind of front. If she could help him forget for just a little while, then she knew she did her job of being the best friend she could be. 

For now she could take care of Steven instead of the other way around. She kissed his temple as his crying slowed to an almost stop after fifteen minutes of sobbing into her shirt. Her shirt is covered in tears in snot, but she gave no fucks. She just wanted to be there for the person she loved and treasured most in this crazed and messed up world, Steven. Steven Quartz Universe was her universe.


End file.
